Asking a family member or a close friend to be guardian to your children in the event you are no longer here is one of the most difficult decisions parents can make when working on their Estate Plan.
A good starting point would be to think about the most important aspects of your children’s lives – family life, education, religious/spiritual life, exposure to the arts and sciences, participating in sports, allowing them to follow their dreams and aspirations. Who would be the individual(s) who would align with your values and allow your children to grow and thrive?
Next, create a list of family and/or friends who you would trust that would fill the important role of guardian (and an backup guardian if the need arises) of your children.
Create a list of potential questions:
- How well do they know your children?
- Do your children trust them?
- Will your children feel loved, safe and comfortable with them and their family?
- Will your children be raised with their children?
- What is the family dynamic?
- Does this individual have a spouse or partner?
- What is that individual like?
- Will this individual be able to handle a new situation and added family members?
- Where would your children be living?
- Does this individual have a demanding job and/or career?
- Is this individual financially stable and what type of financial arrangements will you have to make for your children?
These are but a few of the questions to ask a potential guardian and backup guardian depending on your own personal needs and wants for your children's futures.
Set up a personal, face-to-face or phone conversation with your potential candidate at a quiet time and in a comfortable setting where the conversation is open and honest and without interruptions is key. Share with both primary and backup guardians the reasons why they have been chosen, highlighting their strengths and how they align and understand your values, morals and parenting style. Understand and acknowledge what you are asking of them – give them time to consider and be open minded for any questions or concerns they may have. Understand and respect their decision if they decline—do not pressure to reconsider. If they say yes, make sure to discuss the legal process and documents involved. Also, make sure to discuss financial planning and resources required for the care of your children.
The ultimate goal for all parties is to make sure that your children will be living the active, full, happy, and secure life that you have always planned for them.
Choosing a guardian and planning for your children’s future is deeply personal—and legally complex. While these conversations are a critical first step, it’s just as important to ensure your wishes are documented properly under New York State law. From naming a legal guardian in your will to understanding your financial planning options, our estate planning attorneys at MCV Law are here to help you put the right protections in place. Schedule a consultation today to create a plan that gives your family peace of mind for years to come.